Bad Credit Girl

Veronica called me last night, she said she had something huge to tell us and she would like to go for coffee this afternoon. It was a different plan for an usually boring weekday, so we decided to meet at Starbucks.

We got there, we waited for ages to order, and once I had my Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino, and we were able to find a table, we waited to hear that incredible thing that she had to tell us…

I just couldn’t believe it!!! She had just been promoted… and with this huge pay raise… my smile went frozen and I couldn’t find any word to say…I was getting desperate cause all of them were looking at me waiting to hear what I will say.

I was so mad… hundreds of things came to my mind… why was she getting what I have always wanted?? Why should I be able to show happiness when she is getting what I would like to get??? I could finally congratulate her, and even when I was horribly mad, I was sincere. I can’t forget she is my friend and besides the situation, I’m happy with her progress. But I still can’t stop thinking about it…how do I do to not let this to be personal??

I don’t want to envy her, but I can’t help it…I know this is not correct, but how can I control my feelings??? (Thanks god I’ve never told my friends about this blog!!!)

And with a huge pay raise!!! I hate this!!! Well, now I come up to think about it…maybe that raise is not so huge…

Who am I trying to lie to…it has to be huge… he has already been doing shopping! Said she should look “even more professional now” so her wardrobe had to be renewed.

Here I go again… I’m happy, then mad, then happy again…then really mad!!! How do people do to handle these mixed emotions??? I hope by the weekend I’ll be me again…